Zero Dark Thirty

I saw this movie two days ago and I'm already struggling to remember what happened.  Not because I have a poor memory, but because one can only recall so much from a misguided two and a half hour film comprised of meandering, repetitive, and dull scenes.  Zero Dark Thirty isn't a bad film, it just isn't a good one.

Where to begin? We start out with Chastain (unconvincing, bland, despite her incredible talent) arriving in some CIA black site where an interrogator tortures a suspect in an attempt to extract valuable information.  I guess there's a lot of buzz about how violent and unpleasant these scenes are, but they're far from the worst thing I've seen.  They're pretty mild if we're being totally honest.  The only thing that bothered me about the scenes was how many times the interrogator said the word "bro".

From there we just follow Chastain around as she pieces together bits of information from random tortures, then we cut to her doing some random other shit for no real reason. Then back to terrorist work, back to dinner, back to work, etc.  One of the most mind-blowing scenes from these escapades is an AIM conversation she has with a coworker meeting up with a terrorist who's willing to cooperate. I kid you not, "yo wassup you talkin' yet" is a direct quote from the AIM conversation we're treated to.  Thanks, Bigelow/Boal.  I'm still laughing about this scene, even now as I try to recall the film.

The entirety of the film builds up to the all-important raid, which is where we find the most mediocre and boring action scene in recent memory.  How many times do we need to watch the Seals breach a door? I think the answer to that question is five. Five times! Can you imagine?

There's also a giant explosion every once in a while just to keep the audience awake, I assume.  But all of these scenes are so obvious there's hardly a moment of genuine suspense, something The Hurt Locker excelled at.

There are also several cutesy scenes that try to add some lightheartedness to the film, but they consistently fall flat and awkward.  There's one line in particular "I'm the motherfucker that found this place" that just had me laughing at its awfulness.

It was obvious this movie would receive high praise, simply because of the premise and director/writer's track history together. But, outside of that, I don't really understand the hype. There are so many other films just like this one, they just aren't blessed with the topical story.

B-